I’ve wandered too far into the dark recesses of my head. It’s been too long, too deep. Within the abyss, I’ve unwittingly set foot upon the demons’ lair, rousing them from their hibernation. Limbs straightening, raven black patagiums outstretched. The first wind beneath the wings must have felt good. Which is why the fluttering never cease, as they grew deafening, beckoning more to emerge from the caves to join in with the vile cacophony.
They have enjoyed free rein of my cerebral spaces for a good 2 years. It is the most despairing sensation to experience. I stood upon a cliff as I watch the beautiful snow-capped mountains crumple around me, into smoke and dust which rose and enveloped my whole world. Choking, crying, curled up on the ground I lay as I watched paradise turned to hell. Helpless.
13th January 2016: I declared war. Chemical warfare.
Venlafaxine or Effexor
The first day this valiant warrior was lent entry into my blood stream he put up such a fierce battle, my entire body, mind and soul were recruited to as back up. I was experiencing the full impact of the side effects of the drug.
- Loss of apetite
For two days, exhaustion engulfed me yet sleep escaped from the grasps of my palms. Beneath my eyelids, the eyeballs were buzzing with restless energy yet when the light from the outside pierced agonizing holes to the back of my mind. It’s very peculiar, the feeling of no hunger. Every standing moment was a fight against the gravitational pull of my head back to the soft pillows of my bed (which I succumb).
It’s day three today. I’m happy to note that most of the side effects have subsided beyond awareness, except the strange sense of disorientation I get when I yawn. I’ve postponed work for a week and also shelf thoughts of having to plan for the future. It seems to be helping tremendously.
Lesson learnt: Say “yes” to drugs.